About The Steady Stepmom

Who the heck is The Steady Stepmom? It's me, just a working mom of two who has been navigating the sticky and germy roller coaster of parenting for about 13 years now. I was 29 when I became a stepmom - yeah, I'm old now. My little girl was then a cute six-year-old with a bunch of love in her heart despite going through the crappy break-up of her biological parents' marriage at age three.

I still have the little green rock she gave me the day we first met. She dug that little rock out of one of those 25-cent prize machines that are at all arcades. I remember her smiling face and the cheetah print coat she was wearing because it was January and we were freezing. Her hair fell to halfway between her shoulders and her chin. She was beautiful. And boy, did she smile.

Four years later she welcomed into our home a new baby brother, a little boy who was all long legs and lots of toots and burps. She was in heaven. She put away her ballerina tutu and high heel plastic dress-up shoes and dug right into being a big sister again - her biological mother had several children as well.

Our boy's birth is not embedded with crystal clarity in my mind; I just can't remember when he wasn't part of our family. But our girl's "birthday" for me was when I my world changed, when my gravity shifted, and I became a parent in the full sense.

We've never had other kids, though not for lack of wanting. We'd love to expand but mommy is getting achy and creaky as the big 40 approaches. Can I keep up with more? Not sure. I also work full-time. And our two pumpkins get a lot of one-on-one attention and we note immense benefits from that. Their difference in age also makes it easier to dole out one-on-one attention and focus.

Plus, we have noticed that we are better parents, more mature at least, for having walked with one child through some intense situations for a few years before welcoming a second addition. Some moms are freaked out by the age difference - a whopping 10 years between daughter and son - but we see very real benefits. It works for us.

Maybe another little one will appear in a year or two, when our #1 is out of high school. Eww, she says to the idea of me carrying another bundle of joy at what she thinks is an advanced age, but I love the thought. She wants me "as is." Hers. I want to show her that there is unending love in me for any number of family members. We'll see what happens.